Second time around

Well i watched To Save A Life again tonight, and once again God's tugging at my heart. There's this thought that punched me in the gut last time I watched it and it's back. I just want to follow God and sometimes that's so hard to do. It's so hard to imagine the disciples leaving their lives immediately and following Christ. "At once they left their nets and followed Him." Matt. 4:20. They left their money, comforts, and families and FOLLOWED Christ! Why do I find it so hard to follow God? Because I'm comfortable here. That's why.

The emotions and feelings in my heart right now are really crucial. If this is an upcoming career changer that God has planned, it's very important for me to get right. I'm in a professional school and if I leave now and it's not God's will or timing I must re-apply and start all back over. I can't just pick up where i left off. I have to be absolutely positive that God wants me to do this or I could mess myself up pretty bad. Honestly speaking, if I am completely following God and completely devoting my life to Him, I'm pretty sure that I won't be messed up. However, things may not go as smoothly as if I waited for his timing.

All I ask is that you will be praying for me. Pray that I listen to only God's thoughts and ways and not my own. If you're are wondering what I am thinking and pondering with God about my life well just keep wondering. I'm not going to tell. Honestly, I want to keep this between me and God only right now. I'm afraid that if I tell anyone their opinions and biases will be expressed to me, whether on purpose or not, and I will cloud my mind with things not totally of God. Just pray for me and in time God will reveal to me which direction I'm supposed to be going.

Thank you. I love you. You are a wonderful and beautiful person. You have meaning in my life.

Kerry D.

Denied

To those of you who have been reading this. My letter from MDCC apparently got lost in the mail and I was denied for EMT school. Yet again another failure. It's hard now. If this is God's will then why is it so hard to get in. And I know all the jazz about "it's just not His time". Trust me I've grown up in church. But sometimes it's just hard. The lady told me over the phone and my heart sunk. I have one more final: 2 essays on [1. Jacksonian Democracy; 2. Has our nation grown closer or further from 'Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?]. I don't know how I'm going to write. I just want to be done for the semester and get away from the Delta for a while.

Love All; Reject None

So I just watched a movie tonight. It was titled To Save a Life. OH MY GOSH this movie was phenominal!!! If you haven't seen this movie you are missing out completely!!

This movie is easily a life changer. No, this movie is a life SAVER! I really encourage you to see the movie. It makes me think of the reality of teen suicide and rejection.

Here's the link to the trailer. Truly life changing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o56pazEh-Q

According to the National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL):

• 19.3% of high school students have seriously considered killing themselves.
• 14.5% of high school students made actual plans for committing suicide.

Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in people aged 15-24 (CDC).

Suicide is the 4th leading cause of death in children ages 10-14 (CDC).

If these statistics do not shock you then you are not human. It's unfortunate that OUR children and OUR children's FRIENDS are struggling with these awful thoughts. IF YOU HAVE ANY GOD LOVING BONE IN YOU PLEASE INVEST IN THE LIVES OF YOUR PEERS, FRIENDS, AND CHILDREN!!! It doesn't matter if you are 85 years old or 10 years old. JESUS SHOWED LOVE ON EARTH, AND WE SHOULD TOO!!!

Tell someone you love them tomorrow. You may be the only hope they have.

Yo I'm BACK!!!!

To God be the Glory

It's been so long since I've been on here. I definitely miss it. Y'all have missed so much! I'm not going to try to sum it all up on paper. If you want to know what has gone down since June then you gotta ask me.

Recently (within the last 3 months) God and I have experienced a disconnect. I feel as if I'm not hearing anything He says. I receive no direction anymore. I know exactly why, too. In the past 3 months I can count on one hand how many times I've opened my Bible outside of church, and honestly, probably have fingers left over. That's completely embarrassing!! How dare I not read my road map for life. It's no wonder that I've lost my way. And let me tell you, having a disconnect is completely terrible!!! I wake up everyday and ignore my conscious. It tells me to read God's Words, and what do I do? I simply turn back over and sleep the extra time. What a lazy good-for-nothing sinner!!! I hate living in the ditch. It's not a rut. I feel like I can't climb out.

Parts of my life have just seemed to struggle. For instance, I'm in the ATEP at DSU. I absolutely love it!!! Athletic Training is not a job or even a career. It's a lifestyle. One has to be prepared to become an Athletic Trainer, not choose that for a job. BIG DIFFERENCE! I'm struggling in program. Not doing as well as I want to with proficiencies and competencies. I know the material; I just seem to have brain farts when the time comes. Now I'm still doing fine, just not performing to my hopes. But not to worry I'm gonna do better. Also, my physical fitness has gone way down. I haven't ran in 3 weeks or worked out in longer than that. I haven't had much time, and the time I have, I waste in laziness. I believe that people need a spiritual workout everyday but also a physical one. Nealy and I are running in a race Saturday after Thanksgiving. Also, Nealy and I have experienced a disconnect. We've been dating for longer than a year. It's been truly an amazing experience. And if you didn't know already, I want to marry her!! But the time is not now. With our schedules, we don't get a whole lot of time together. Our schedules seem to conflict. This has put a strain on our relationship. Also, we haven't spent the time with God that He deserves. This is most definitely the biggest problem. We are currently fixing this. Relationships must be made up of two SOLID people FIRST. Then, they can be a solid couple together. No need to worry all you people we are not breaking up, taking a break, or any of that. We are just spending more time with Christ. That's the solution, DUH!!!

I've applied to EMT school for next semester at MDCC. It's a 30min drive on TUES and THURS nights. I pray that God wants this for me now. I know he wants it for me, but the question is when. I feel that time is now. It is a full fledged LEAP of faith, not step.

Well I've gotta go write a love letter to my girlfriend, and then off to bed. Pray for me.

To God be the Glory

One Question

There are 86,400 seconds in a day. How many have you made count today?

My Life

Here's my life at present in a nutshell. Just in case you don't know who I am or want to know more about me:

I am a born again Christian. I don't mean one of those Sunday morning Wednesday night people. I mean a sold out, on fire, and seeking to discover God's will for my life Christians. I LOVE GOD!! What is amazing is that even when I chose to not love Him (because love is a choice made daily), HE LOVES ME ANYWAY! He chooses to love me, a WORTHLESS, TRASHY, ROTTEN SINNER, every single day!! He is my life.

I am going to school to become an Athletic Trainer. I know what you're saying. 'What's an Athletic Trainer?' According to bls.gov an Athletic Trainer is:

Athletic trainers help prevent and treat injuries for people of all ages. Their patients and clients include everyone from professional athletes to industrial workers. Recognized by the American Medical Association as allied health professionals, athletic trainers specialize in the prevention, diagnosis, assessment, treatment, and rehabilitation of muscle and bone injuries and illnesses. Athletic trainers, as one of the first healthcare providers on the scene when injuries occur, must be able to recognize, evaluate, and assess injuries and provide immediate care when needed. Athletic trainers should not be confused with fitness trainers or personal trainers, who are not healthcare workers, but rather train people to become physically fit.

Basically in a nutshell I'm a first aid nerd. My other dream job is to be a Paramedic. Some folks are cut out for emergency situations and the fast paced setting of trying to stick an I.V. in someone’s arm while going 50mph in a moving vehicle while swerving in and out of traffic, but some are not. That long description is who I am. That’s what I want to do with my life. God has lead me to taking EMT classes this summer at Southwest. The classes are Saturday and Sunday from 9am-5pm. Looking at those hours, you would think I was crazy. Well I am crazy. I’m crazy because I believe in a Man who loves me enough to die for me. Not just any Man, but the Man who spoke and that very instant, stars were formed and lit up the universe!! The same Man that gives us trees and grass that convert CO2 into O2 so we can continue to exist! I’m crazy because I’ve never seen this Person face to face, but I choose to follow his Word. I’ve heard His will for my life and have chosen to follow it. The Bible says:

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.--Psalm 37:4

I am living proof that God will give you the desires of your heart!!

So yes I am crazy!!

If you take the average salary of an Athletic Trainer = $39,640 (in May 2008)*

And add it with the average salary of a Paramedic = $29,328 (in May 2008)**

I would only come out with a whopping grand total of = $68,968***

*Athletic Trainers work an average of 45-60 hrs a week but can easily exceed that. If you use 50 hrs a week then that figure comes out to = $15.25/hr.

**Paramedics get paid by the hour. Average hourly wage is = $14.10. Amount is calculated upon 52 weeks a year and 40 hrs a week.

***This total is the adding of TWO full time jobs, which is impossible. How can some one in charge of saving lives in both careers make so little? Don't know. Don't care. It's just my passion, and somebody has to do it. And wouldn’t you want a paramedic that is excited about coming to work everyday and excited about helping people working on you instead of an unhappy uncaring person?

Bottom line is that I will have a family. I will not be able to love them and provide for them time wise if I have two full time jobs. I know that God will provide for me when the time comes. Therefore, I am not worried or anxious. I am just excited.

After all my school I will be known as: Kerry DeShazo, ATC, EMT-P