Second time around

Well i watched To Save A Life again tonight, and once again God's tugging at my heart. There's this thought that punched me in the gut last time I watched it and it's back. I just want to follow God and sometimes that's so hard to do. It's so hard to imagine the disciples leaving their lives immediately and following Christ. "At once they left their nets and followed Him." Matt. 4:20. They left their money, comforts, and families and FOLLOWED Christ! Why do I find it so hard to follow God? Because I'm comfortable here. That's why.

The emotions and feelings in my heart right now are really crucial. If this is an upcoming career changer that God has planned, it's very important for me to get right. I'm in a professional school and if I leave now and it's not God's will or timing I must re-apply and start all back over. I can't just pick up where i left off. I have to be absolutely positive that God wants me to do this or I could mess myself up pretty bad. Honestly speaking, if I am completely following God and completely devoting my life to Him, I'm pretty sure that I won't be messed up. However, things may not go as smoothly as if I waited for his timing.

All I ask is that you will be praying for me. Pray that I listen to only God's thoughts and ways and not my own. If you're are wondering what I am thinking and pondering with God about my life well just keep wondering. I'm not going to tell. Honestly, I want to keep this between me and God only right now. I'm afraid that if I tell anyone their opinions and biases will be expressed to me, whether on purpose or not, and I will cloud my mind with things not totally of God. Just pray for me and in time God will reveal to me which direction I'm supposed to be going.

Thank you. I love you. You are a wonderful and beautiful person. You have meaning in my life.

Kerry D.